You’re Attractive… It’s Your Heart That Might Be Holding You Back

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” ~ Sophia Loren

This is one of the main reasons I named the podcast and brand The Heart Matters. Attractiveness or beauty, whichever adjective you choose, it’s about what people actualize in their eyes, character, and actions. It’s about conveying what’s inside to the outside world.

Some people call it the Law of Attraction. I call it, “Pouring out what the vessel (i.e. heart) contains.” Make no mistake, physical appearance is important, but it’s only one part of being attractive.

What about being optimistic, having ambition, intelligence, interesting passions, empathy, trustworthiness, and having a great sense of humor? All of those things make a person attractive.

However, if they don’t come from the inside, a person will only be able to fake having these traits for so long. In essence, those matters must be cultivated internally in order to truly have those amazing characteristics.

“As we open our hearts to others, we begin to discover the truth of our own inner beauty, inner strength, and inner light.” ~ Susan Jeffers

In many cases, literally, people’s hearts are not in the right place. Many of us show up as representatives because we haven’t done the inner work to make our hearts and souls attractive.

Therefore, it emanates outwardly the more time we spend with someone. As Dr. Geneva Williams told me in my interview with her, “You can’t hide in a marriage.” I must add to that by saying, you can’t hide from a person who’s attractive on the inside and has good intentions.

Being physically attractive is one thing, but really being attractive is something else entirely. When the intentions are bad and the heart is soiled with pessimism, envy, and unresolved issues of the past they will show up in a person’s body language if not their speech.

Body language is a real thing that conveys to people what’s really inside even if they’re saying something else. When our hearts are in the right place, we will display confidence that is attractive.

Confidence is about the walk, sitting posture, and paying attention when other people speak. All of these things tell other people that we’re sure of ourselves

The way we dress tells others if we truly love ourselves or not. Again, when we’ve worked on our hearts, it’s not about arrogance and cockiness. Dressing well is an indication that we feel good about ourselves on the inside.

When we feel good inwardly we want to look good outwardly. This is attractive. This will draw the person we want to spend our time with to us. I’m not talking about extravagance. It’s about wearing things that fit, are clean, and are functional.

“God loves to see His bounties on His creatures.”

Attracting people that are attractive inwardly and outwardly should be the goal when we’re looking for a lifelong companion. Good looks will only get us so far. If the physically attractive person is pessimistic, lacks drive and ambition, is rude, and has bad character, the physical attractiveness will wear thin.

Here’s an exercise that’ll make you feel more attractive. Write down 15 things you like about yourself. They should refer to your looks and your personality. Try it and see what you come up with. Remember! The Heart Matters.


The Better Relationship Guide for Work, Life and Intimacy: 

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Louis Morris

Louis Morris

Louis Morris is a Certified Relationship Coach who helps couples deal with marital and relationship discord involving issues of communication, intimacy, and helping them enhance their spiritual and emotional connection. He also assists singles who are divorced, been through a break-up, or lost a partner to get their groove back.


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