I have no idea where this myth of relationships being complicated came from. Maybe it started with Shakespeare. You know! All of those tragic love stories he wrote. Othello, Romeo and Juliette, and Hamlet, just to name a few. Wherever this myth first appeared, it’s just that, a myth.
The crux of the matter might be, many of us confuse complicated with having complications. Everything in life consists of complications. But is everything complicated? I think everyone would answer Nah! So, let’s examine some of the elements of a relationship and ask if, at their very essence, are they complicated?
Relationships should consist of love, communication, trust, intimacy, affection, mercy, understanding, and the list goes on. None of these matters or actions of the heart are complex at their core. However, if these relationship issues are polluted with problems, lack of manners, and matters from the past that haven’t been addressed, that’s when the actual relationship becomes complicated.
In essence, it’s the participants that can make a relationship complicated. Case in point, a couple I spoke with indicated that their communication is bad because both of them tend to either lie or leave out important information that needs to be addressed. This is their lack of proper relationship communication making the relationship as a whole complicated. Now, the regular complication of the union lies in the fact that now and then couples have to discuss issues and subjects that are uncomfortable.
But, when we look at that with critical eyes, these are the things that make a relationship better. As a friend of mine used to always say, “Lack of communication brings about confusion.” Therefore, the flip side must be true. When a couple can sit down and share their feelings openly and honestly, it removes complications. It gets rid of confusion. It engenders growth and more closeness between two people.
It becomes complicated when they can’t talk to each other, they can’t articulate their wants and desires clearly, or they communicate with lies and deception. This is complex. So! The essence of a relationship is not complicated. Two people having vision, goals, ambition, passions outside of the union, working as a team, etc. These things are not complicated if they are applied properly by two people who continue to work on themselves individually and as a team to get better.
Let’s be clear, complications in a union, when dealt with properly makes the relationship more productive and fruitful. A complicated relationship is one that we need to remove ourselves from or just avoid all together because it will only bring pain and misery to our lives.
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