One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.-Maya Angelou
Know! Part of a man’s responsibility to women and his family is that he provides for and protects them. I didn’t understand this when I was younger. This is what caused me to lose Mona. I didn’t protect her when she needed me. The end of this ghetto love goes as follows.
When Mona, Dee, and I would get some money we would buy weed and liquor. One day, Shawn and one of his cronies found out we had money and weed. They came and attacked us and took it from us.
To say it bluntly, I didn’t fight. It wasn’t that I put up a fight and lost. The fact is, I didn’t fight at all. I let my fear paralyze me. I understood a few months after this incident that being afraid is part of physical confrontation. However, we can’t let that fear prevent us from taking the necessary action to defend ourselves and the people we care about.
The same guy, Shawn, I fought him months later when he did something to my Dee. But, it was too late to keep Mona. She was long gone. Cowardliness is not a manly trait, nor is it attractive. Mona asked me later with tears in her eyes, “Why didn’t you fight? Why didn’t you help us?” I couldn’t respond to her question because my cowardliness was inexcusable. After that short conversation, I was without a girlfriend, and rightfully so.
A woman needs to feel safe with a man. If that secure feeling goes away, either it severely damages the relationship or ends it all together.
We made love one last time. We did it in my mother and father’s bedroom. In the 3 years we were together, we had never made love in their room. However, this was a special occasion. Not special in a good way.
Special because it marked the end of a relationship that has taught me how to treat a woman. It shaped how I would relate to women for the rest of my life. (Minus the cowardliness of course). So, it was not only the last time we made love, but it was the last time Mona would set foot in our house.
It was definitely the end. Once she walked out of the apartment she changed her life. She stopped hanging around the neighborhood, she still lived there, but she was barely around.
She started hanging out in Elizabeth and Hillside with people from her high school. We would see each other from time to time, we were cordial, but our time had passed. There were no more sparks. I blew the flame out. However, our fire burned for 3 years with memories that will last a lifetime. A few lessons I learned from this Ghetto Love.
- It’s not difficult to love someone. It takes work but it’s not hard.
- Women like men with masculine qualities in all areas of their lives. Truthfulness, Courage, Passion, Responsibility, Strength, Trustworthiness, and More, are all qualities that women love in men.
- Having interest outside of the relationship is essential for each person. Mind you, I don’t mean sitting at home watching t.v. and playing video games all of the time. I mean, passion projects that get both people excited respectively. It makes time together better.
- The importance of whispering and looking into each other’s eyes. I stress these two things all of the time with clients and people in general. Most of the time, they look at me like I’m crazy. However, once these two things are done regularly, they bring wonders to an intimate union.
- The relationship will not be smooth sailing all of the time, no matter how much two people love each other. Relationships take work. You just have to find the right person to work with.
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