The Ghetto Love That Changed My Life Part I

Born in the heart of the Ghetto, beautiful time. I’m sending all of my love cause we haven’t spoke in a while.-Yung Bleu

First experiences are so powerful. How can I put into words my first kiss, first sexual encounter, or the first girl who made my heart skip a beat? The memories are still so bright and vivid. I’m still filled with wonder as to how two people who reached puberty together could love so deeply. We were only twelve when it all started.

Growing up the only boy living with 4 sisters had its benefits. Girls would spend the night at our house regularly. Mona was sitting on the floor with her back against the door. It was dark in the living room and as I walked in the television’s glare hit her hazel eyes.

Mona, Dee, and Rosa were watching a seventies show called Love American Style. I went and sat on the floor next to her. I was started to reach puberty so my voice was getting deeper. I started whispering in her ear. I’ve tried for years to recall what I was saying to her. I just can’t remember.

However, I knew she liked it because she started giggling and moving closer to me instead of moving away. After that experience with Mona, I had to be with her. There was a problem though. Carmen, the girl who lived across the hall, me and her were boyfriend and girlfriend.

Due to Dad cheating on Mom, I made a conscious decision, at the age of twelve, that I would never cheat on a woman. That being the case, I had to break up with Carmen in order to be with Mona. However, due to my cowardliness, I went to one of my big sisters, Maria, to help me break up with Carmen. I asked her to help me write Carmen a letter.

She asked me why and I told her about Mona. Maria objected to it because Maria and Carmen’s sister Danielle were best friends and she thought Carmen was a better fit for me. But, after a little protesting, she agreed to help me. I told her something to write and she filled in the rest. Maria delivered the letter to Carmen, but while she was delivering it, Mona came in.

About twenty minutes later, Carmen came over crying with the letter in her hand. “Why?” She asked with tears streaming down her face. I looked over at Mona and said, “I’m sorry.” Carmen looked at Mona and the answer to her question became clear. It was a cowardly move on my part, and in hindsight, I definitely could have handled it better. But, it had to be done. In any case, even at the age of twelve, I knew Mona would change my life.

Carmen was hurt for a little while. It didn’t last long because we weren’t together long. In the meantime, Mona and I were a couple. Mona’s older brother Connor didn’t approve of our relationship because he thought I wasn’t good enough for his sister. He tried to threaten me, intimidate me, and do everything in between to make me stay away from his sister. I wasn’t afraid of him, nor was I going to let him keep me away from Mona.

He talked to her about me and she told him how good I treated her, and then, he observed it for himself. The combination of those two things changed his attitude towards me completely. After that temporary drama, Mona and I got closer, and started loving each other… Our relationship was strange.

We were together for five years. In ghetto time, that’s a marriage. We didn’t talk a lot at first. I remember us being in my bedroom alone for the first time. I just pointed to the bed and we laid down. I used to do this with Carmen, but she would put her knees up to keep me from getting close to her body. Mona didn’t do that. We were fully dressed lying there looking into each other’s eyes. We didn’t talk.

It was weird the first time it happened. After the initial weirdness, it became common for us to do that. There’s something powerful about looking into an intimate companion’s eyes. Whoever said the eyes are the keys to the soul was definitely on to something.

We were so young but our chemistry was deep. If you’ve never stared into the eyes of your significant other, I suggest you do it often. Don’t talk. Just look. It’s a powerful thing…TO BE CONTINUED!

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Louis Morris

Louis Morris

Louis Morris is a Certified Relationship Coach who helps couples deal with marital and relationship discord involving issues of communication, intimacy, and helping them enhance their spiritual and emotional connection. He also assists singles who are divorced, been through a break-up, or lost a partner to get their groove back.

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