The Final 5 Don’ts For Men
- Yell at your partner as if you were her father. This is a no brainer. As people, we don’t like to be yelled at, which is another reason that critical communication is so important in a relationship. It gives couples the tools they need to communicate without abuse and belittling. Healthy relationships should not consist of vulgar and abusive language.
- Take every word she says literally. Women, when upset, tend to speak in absolutes, such as “You NEVER listen to me;” when what she really means is that you aren’t listening to her at that time. Don’t let statements like that create a sore spot for you. Just understand she is trying to get your attention in the conversation that is currently taking place. So, instead of taking her statement literally, be attentive.
- Allow jealousy to erode the trust, love, and respect in your relationship. Again, if she has not given you a concrete reason to be jealous, then don’t be. Now, I am not saying that you should not have any jealousy at all. This would be foolish. Why? Because we like that our partners show a certain level of concern for us when it comes to members of the opposite sex. However, it should not be too far left or non-existent, but somewhere in the middle.
- Violate her privacy. This is right in line with the 3rd. Don’t. In other words, leave her phone or diary, if she has one, alone. There must exist a level of trust that doesn’t allow you to check on her in ways that could cause problems down the road.
- Forget special occasions. This is an absolute no-no. Whatever you have to do to remember important occasions, do that. Put them in your Google Calendar, place reminders on your phone, or write them down. But make sure you remember the special occasions. This can become a bigger issue than you want it to be. Avoid that.
The Final 5 Don’ts For Women
- Scold your partner as if he were a child. We already address this issue for the men. However, this goes both ways. As human beings, we don’t enjoy being talked at, we would rather be talked to. Studies show that children don’t take well to verbal put downs. It doesn’t change when we’re adults. That kind of talk can go sideway very quickly.
- Use sex as a prize for good behavior or the withholding of sex as punishment for “bad” behavior. This one does not require a great deal of explanation. However, I will say this, sexual relations is a very important part of an intimate union. If it is used as a tool to control your partner, it could have the opposite effect. In other words, if he can only get it from you on your terms, he might seek a more accomodating sexual experience elsewhere.
- Compare him to a fictional character in a book, movie or soap drama when he’s lacking. We talked about this in the past. We all need motivation and inspiration from time to time. Your man is no different. So, when he is not that motivated and inspired, don’t compare him to any fictional characters. But try to pull him up.
- Violate his privacy.
- Try to change him. Appreciate the man he is right now. This is in direct correlation with the 3rd Don’t. Mind you, a man should always be seeking to improve his condition and the condition of the people around him, inwardly and outwardly, so assist him in this. Don’t try to make him someone else, but strive with him to improve the man he already is.
This completes the series of the 10 Do’s and Don’t for men and women. I hope you all enjoyed them and received some benefit. If you have any questions or comments, DM me on Instagram @louis_morris_coaching. I would love to hear from you.
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