I feel compelled to write this because I’ve been observing and hearing some disturbing things about men. Women have said that men say to them, “I am intimidated by you.” Or, “Men don’t approach you because you’re intimidating.” Another favorite is, “I don’t want a woman who makes more money than me.” Where does this stuff come from? Considering these things and verbalizing them shows that some of us don’t understand what manhood is all about.
First and foremost, let me be clear. The characteristics of true masculinity are mainstays. They have existed since the creation of Adam.
- Have a relationship with his Creator
- Strength (In faith and body)
Just to name a few. When did they change? To be transparent, “They haven’t.” Being a man automatically implies that you have these traits or are cultivating them. Additionally, there are others such as shyness, gentleness, and firmness, all of which have existed in men since the beginning of time. While many of us do not like to look at the Prophets and Messengers as examples of what manhood should be like, let’s do that for a minute. Give an example of a Prophet or Messenger (peace be upon them) who lacked these characteristics. When I say ‘name one’, I mean with proof that the person did not possess the characteristics above.
And I haven’t forgotten about the women. Their wives and daughters provided great examples for you. However, currently, we are addressing the men’s situation. Therefore, I will outline the three pillars which manhood is built upon. You will see that each of the principles I mentioned above sits on top of one or some of these pillars. The pillars of manhood are:
These are the three pillars upon which manhood rests. When you think about it, a courageous and truthful man won’t be intimidated by anyone. He respects people, but he doesn’t allow himself to be intimidated. Like him, all humans eat, use the bathroom, sleep, etc. Where is the intimidation factor, then? For him, it does not exist. O, Men! Let us learn and cultivate the characteristics of masculinity so we can benefit ourselves, our families, our companions, intimate or otherwise, and the creation in general. It is what we were created to do.
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