I was talking with one of my sisters a few weeks ago about my coaching and she asked me this question, “How are you going to coach people about relationships and you’re not in one?” It was a good question, and my short answer to her was, “I’ve been in relationships before.”
I want to give a more detailed answer to my sister’s question here. In order to do this, I would like to use a basketball coaching analogy. Three of the greatest coaches to ever coach in the National Basketball Association are Phil Jackson, Pat Riley, and Larry Brown or Greg Popovich, take your pick on the third. In any case, the first three were all NBA players.
They were not great players. Just role players. However, they became three of the greatest coaches in NBA history. Why? Because they understood the game. Also, they could relate to the players because they were in those locker rooms and on those courts for most of their lives. I give this analogy so that my sister, and anyone else, will understand how I can be a relationship coach.
First, let me clarify, I am a relationship coach for women who know that they deserve all that a healthy union has to offer. Effective communication, romance, affection, unexpected sweet gestures, and great sex. One might ask, “How?” Because I was raised as an only boy in a house with six women. I was in the house (locker room). Also, as I mentioned in the beginning, I’ve been in relationships before.
As a matter of fact, I was in my first long-term relationship at the age of twelve. I was with a girl who lived downstairs in my building for five years. And, it goes without saying, I’m a man. With that being the case, I can give the women I coach outlooks from the male perspective. I would hear what my sisters liked, disliked, hated, and loved about the men they were dating. Now, of course, I didn’t know as a boy I would be able to use these insights to help women in their relationships.
My goal at the time was to take as many of the things they disliked and hated about men and remove them from myself. At the age of thirteen, boys and girls in my neighborhood began coming to me for advice, mainly about their boyfriends and girlfriends. One of the reasons I’m not in a relationship right now is due to the knowledge and insight I have about establishing and cultivating a loving union. It takes time and effort.
I’m pouring so much of myself into my business that it would be unfair to deprive myself and a woman of the joy it takes to cultivate something real and meaningful. My goal is to make the world a better place. Now some might say, “How is coaching women in relationships and people in spirituality going to do that?” These are two of the areas in life where people find tremendous fulfillment and solace. These are things the world needs more of, along with peace, love, and understanding.
This is the long version answer to my sister’s question. In conclusion, I don’t plan on staying out of the game (relationship) too much longer. God is blessing me so much personally and professionally. I look forward to sharing it with someone very soon.
If you’re interested in becoming a Relationship Coach, take a look at this article by Sai Blackbyrn: How To Become A Relationship Coach (And Help Couples Succeed)