So often we spend most of our time taking care of our physical needs. We make sure our bodies are fed, cleaned, clothed, exercised, and rested. We also make sure intellectual stimulation and entertainment are a priority. However, sometimes we overlook the importance of a loving relationship.
The need to love and care for others is built into us biologically. Love is what allows parents to forgo sleep while raising their children. Love is what allows people to put themselves at risk to save others. Loving others allows us to put the needs and desires of others before our own. And, there is no greater love than the love we share with an intimate companion. Love means to cherish, hold dear, and treasure. We should also have a level of mercy for them, which will prevent us from harming the people we share our hearts and bodies with. We should want this person we love to be happy. It shouldn’t be about controlling them. It should be about wanting them to be the best version of themselves.
John Oxenham described love this way: “Love ever gives, forgives, outlives, and ever stands with open hands. And, while it lives, it gives. For this is love’s prerogatives – to give, and give, and give.” Love is the grease that allows the wheel of life to continue turning. When we love we look beyond ourselves, beyond our needs and desires. We sacrifice our time, energy, wishes, and sometimes even ourselves because of love. When it comes to the love of our intimate one, it must be accompanied by trust. That’s why the early scholars have stated, “To know God is to love Him.” Knowledge of Him engenders trust.
There is no human we should know better than the one we share our beds with. That being the case, our ability to trust them should not be in question. Thomas Kempis said about love, “Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength… It is, therefore, able to undertake all things, and it completes many things and warrants them to take effect, where he who does not love would faint and lie down.” Robert Louis Stevenson said: “The essence of love is kindness.” Let us be kind and gentle with the ones we love. Let us be patient with the things we can tolerate, and negotiate with them to reach sound conclusions. Not to be right.
Having that person we love fills our lives with more purpose. When it’s right, we almost feel like we can fly. Frank Tebbets says “A life without love in it is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth, with the fire dead, the laughter stilled and the light extinguished.” Love allows us to be more and do more than we could ever accomplish without its power.
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