There have been so many things said about intimate relationships and their importance in our lives. Let us reflect for a moment on this verse from The Recital. This verse is known by the scholars as ‘The verse of love,’ and it states, “And among His Signs is that He created mates for you from amongst yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them. He has put between you love and mercy. Verily, in this are Signs for people who reflect.” First and foremost, intimate companionship is a sign that God exists. We know about the creation of the first man, Adam. So why did God create Eve? He created Eve to be his wife, intimate companion, and a source of comfort for him. This is part of the essence of our creation. This is one of the reasons that loving another person can make us reach new heights as human beings. Also, He has made creatures that are compatible. Just like all the other creatures have mates that suit their nature. We also have mates that suit our tastes and needs. Secondly, He has placed in us a desire to form strong intimate bonds with one another. This is one of the reasons we get lonely.
Many of us have lives filled with family, friends, co-workers, etc. But if we don’t have that person who we can confide in, and share our body and emotions with, we will still have periods of loneliness because that intimate companionship is missing. It is due to the natural inclination we all have as human beings to have that special someone in our lives. This brings us to the third point in the verse. We find peace and tranquility with them. Qualifier: if we choose wisely. If we don’t, the opposite will take place. We will be miserable and our hearts will be unsettled. As Ellie says in the movie: That Awkward Moment, “Being there for someone when they need you… That’s all relationships are.” It’s a bit of hyperbole. However, the point is valid. If we are in a healthy union with spiritually, mentally, and emotionally healthy people, it brings peace and calmness to our existence. This happens because we know, that no matter what, we can always count on this person. That in itself is a sign that we’ve made a good choice. It doesn’t necessarily mean it will last forever.
As the tradition states, “The heart is like a leaf, when the wind comes it can blow it in any direction.” However, if we do the work ourselves and put effort into the union, God will place between two people love and mercy. With these ingredients, a couple can and will work through anything. If God has placed love and mercy in the hearts of two people, they will make sacrifices, they will bend in areas in which bending is an option, and they will seek the help they need to remain together. These things are signs for people who reflect. The first thing is, that we must choose wisely. We can’t settle. We can’t be with someone just to be with someone. There are two traditions, which I elaborated on in my book: A Treatise On Cultivating Manhood in the section entitled: Advice For The Women, that state the things that a man and woman should look for when choosing a husband or wife. I’ll give you a little clue, Belief in God should be at the top of the list. It is important. We, as human beings, have a Creator. Just like Apple made the iPhone. That’s why Mac is different from Android. Because Apple made the iPhone, not Samsung.
The same applies to us. We didn’t make ourselves, we weren’t created from a big bang. We need that connection in order for Him to make our hearts firm when turbulence appears. Mind you, the tradition above that talks about the condition of the heart states, “…It can blow.” It doesn’t say it will blow. When God gives the heart stability, it’s stable. No matter what. He is the One who made mates for us so that we might find tranquility with them. Relationships continue to be talked about and written about because they are directly linked to what’s inside of us. We can’t see tranquility. It’s just there. We can’t see love. It either exists or it doesn’t. We can’t see mercy. Either we have it or we don’t. However, all of these ingredients must be present in a healthy productive relationship. These things are signs for people who reflect.
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