Intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we can ever have. Nothing else really comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with another person. The thrill of being deeply seen and known by another human being. Intimacy fills our soul and takes away our loneliness. Why then, are so many people afraid of intimacy?
Answer: It’s not the intimacy itself that people fear. There are two things that cause people to avoid being emotionally intimate with their partner: 1. Fear of rejection 2. Fear of being hurt. These are legitimate fears. However, the spiritually grounded person is complete without another person in their lives. First and foremost, the person who cultivates their relationship with God puts their trust in Him.
Therefore, they are cautious, but not afraid. There is a big difference between the two. Cautiousness is about taking things slow, in order to find out who the other person is. Relationships should be that way. Fear is not allowing yourself to experience the joy of getting close to someone. This is not healthy. This type of avoidance in a relationship leads to loneliness and a lack of emotional and spiritual growth.
Being in a relationship is one of the best opportunities for growth, spiritually and emotionally. But if we don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and let someone be vulnerable with us, we deny ourselves the opportunity to grow spiritually and emotionally. Spirituality is not just about prayer and study. It’s also about knowing our own worth through our faith in God.
He created us to be the caretakers of the planet, and we can be whole and complete on our own. The mate that He created for us, just compliments us and enhances our existence. But, the other person doesn’t define our existence. So whether the person is present or absent, we still worship God, and we are a complete human being because of it. With that being the case, we shouldn’t be afraid of intimacy. Unless, we’re carrying baggage from the past. We must drop that luggage off. We do that through prayer, consultation with sober minded people, and reminding ourselves of our worth in God’s Eyes. This does not mean that we will like rejection or being hurt if they happen. What it means is, we do not allow fear to prevent us from opening up to another person when we’ve observed that we can.
Look at it this way. As spiritual people, we know how to speak up for ourselves, to not allow others to smother, dominate, and control us. That being our situation, we will no longer fear losing ourselves in a relationship. We will walk away before we allow someone to take advantage of us. Why? Because the strength God has given us, coupled with our own self respect, won’t let us settle for anything less. So put God first. Experience all of the beauty a loving relationship has to offer, and don’t be afraid. If it ends, then, just do what Usher said, “Let it burn.” It will go away and you will still be whole.
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