I spoke on The Heart Matters Podcast a few weeks ago about how marriage used to be viewed as a spiritual bond. A bond that two people took before God, family, and friends that they would be faithful, trust and support one another, and deal with life’s challenges with belief and permissible actions.
In many cases, having a relationship with God has taken a back seat in intimate unions or a true connection with Him doesn’t exist at all. I want to give two traditions in this post to emphasize the importance that this is the first characteristic that every man and woman should be looking for in an intimate companion.
Ladies first… “If a man comes to you (back in the day, the man who was interested in the woman would go to the man of the house for permission to date or marry her) and you are satisfied with his religious practice (relationship with God) and his character, then marry her to him.”
Now for the men… “A woman is married for four reasons. Her wealth, her beauty, her lineage, and her religious practice (relationship with God). Marry her for her religious practice and be prosperous.” This is the way it used to be. What happened? Why is it that so many of us have taken on the belief that God’s role in intimate relationships is minimal or non-existent?
This belief has led to many problems in the relationship arena. One of which is, the couple has a very low moral compass. Why is this important? Because when problems arise, and they will, the couple doesn’t have a faith-based foundation to fall upon. This will inevitably lead one or both people to resort to ill language and behavior in problem resolutions.
On the other hand, when a couple has a strong connection with the Creator individually and collectively, there will always remain a level of respect, humility, compassion, and wanting to solve problems the right way. Another reason this is important is based on the old saying, “A family that prays together stays together.”
Now, of course, this is a bit of hyperbole because some unions have to end and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, this is after all the steps have been taken to resolve issues. But, because two people have a relationship with God, they will take all of the steps to continue loving, supporting, and building a life together. One, because they will be serious about the commitment they made to God and one another. They will also understand the importance of being patient and merciful with one another.
There is a verse in The Recital which is called, “The Verse Of Love,” which states, And among His Signs is, He created for you mates from among yourselves so that you may find peace with one another. He has placed between you affection and mercy. In this are signs for those who reflect.
The point I’m trying to make is that belief in God should be the foundation of any relationship. In both people’s hearts, there will exist internal checks and balances. There will be certain things they will never say and do to one another because they know God sees, God hears, and they are accountable to Him first and foremost. I encourage couples to, put God first. I encourage singles, let belief in God be the first thing they look for in an intimate companion.
Cultivating a relationship with God as individuals and as a couple will make cultivating the relationship with each other easier.
Reach out to Louis via Instagram @ louis_morris_coaching
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