It has taken me a long time to realize this, but the key component to having a healthy loving relationship is; wait for it… courage. First and foremost, it takes courage to realize that a healthy and loving relationship never becomes mundane. It is not settling for being with someone even though the excitement and passion has disappeared.
Also, it’s not the codependent bond that is filled with high drama and volatility. Where there is no room for growth and exists an unrealistic neediness. It is avoiding these two extremes that requires courage. To never let the relationship hit a wall. It takes courage to continue to grow as individuals and as a couple. To continue to try new things, separately and together, to make the union better.
Courage is required to get out of a relationship that is not beneficial. To not waste effort on a union when it is clear that it is going nowhere. If a relationship is toxic, the one who is courageous knows they deserve better; therefore, he or she knows when it’s time to walk away. It takes courage not to settle for anything less than a true, loving relationship.
And last but certainly not least, it takes courage to open up and be vulnerable with another person. This is how a strong bond is built. By letting someone share not only our happiness, but also our heartache and pain. By sharing painful events in our lives and giving the other person an opportunity to be caring, compassionate, and understanding of our needs.
If we allow fear to cripple us in our intimate relationships, it will spill over into the other areas of our lives. Of course, there is the chance we will get hurt. But, it’s worth it. Why? Because truly loving someone is worth it. Not settling, not being needy or codependent, not falling into a stale routine, but a relationship that is exciting and filled with growth. That requires courage.