Conscious Consulting: Collaboration & Consideration

A relationship built on commitment and trust is serious business. To quote Blake Shelton, “You name the babies and I’ll name the dogs.” The couple must practice consultation in all important matters in order for the business (relationship) to run smoothly.

 

Of course, this is a general statement. It doesn’t apply to every important decision. Case in point: if the boss says, “You’re doing such a great job. I’m going to give you a raise.” I don’t think we have to check with our partner to see if we should take the raise or not. However, consulting and cooperating on major, and sometimes minor issues, should be a regular practice. I was in a brief relationship, some time ago, where she wanted everything her way. Even the way we cuddled, had to be by her design. I felt like an actor on a movie set. Suffice it to say, our involvement was short-lived.

 

Consultation and cooperation means not only trusting the other person — it is a clear sign the significant other’s opinion is valued. To value the other person’s opinion makes the bond stronger. It also negates the question, “You made that decision without talking to me first?” The question doesn’t necessarily mean disapproval. It can just be a question of displeasure because their opinion wasn’t sought before the decision was made. 

 

It is important that we not assume that our partner will be fine with us making decisions, sometimes even minor ones, without their input. Sometimes just asking, “What do you want for dinner tonight?” can go a long way in letting the other person know that you two are a team, not separate, and that you value their input.

 

So, it is better that all couples consult one another about major — and some minor — decisions. Like who’s going to name the babies and who will name the dogs.

 

Louis Morris

Louis Morris

Louis Morris is a Certified Relationship Coach who helps couples deal with marital and relationship discord involving issues of communication, intimacy, and helping them enhance their spiritual and emotional connection. He also assists singles who are divorced, been through a break-up, or lost a partner to get their groove back.

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