It is crucial to have transparency in an intimate relationship. We must ask and answer one vital question, “What do we want our lives to look like with someone else in it?” Unfortunately, in today’s climate, many people are not interested in long-term relationships unless there is a financial upside.
As a matter of fact, some time ago I asked two young women how they felt about marriage. They let me know, in no uncertain terms, that they didn’t want to get married. However, they did express that marriage has some monetary benefits. That’s a sad way to view such a beautiful institution. As for me, I believe building a life with someone is a lofty endeavor. However, that goal can never be reached unless the couple is completely honest about what they want out of the union. Hopes, dreams, aspirations, short-term and long-term goals, financial goals, and everything in between.
There must be clarity among the two people. The clarity in a relationship can only be achieved through communication and observation. The reason I mentioned observation is, as the old adage states, “Actions speak louder than words.” We can say many things. It is only when our words and actions are in concert should we be believed. To quote Maya Angelou, “When a person shows you who they are believe them.” Notice that she didn’t say, “…When a person tells you who they are…” Why? Because words are not the determining factor as to who a person is and what he or she believes. The truth only becomes clear through actions. I’ve noticed a trend where people say I love you all the time. But let us ask ourselves, what do their actions say?
Love is an emotion that deeds are compelled to spring from. It is like fear. If someone is afraid of something or someone, that person will do whatever he or she can to avoid that thing or person they are afraid of. The same is true for two people who truly want to establish a loving relationship beyond sex and play. Their words and actions will not contradict each other. This is another reason communication is so important. Being verbal with one another brings about clarity. A friend of mine used to say, “Lack of communication brings about confusion.” To add to that, most behavior psychologists tell us that 93% of communication is non-verbal.
That being the case, if a person we are trying to establish an intimate bond with says one thing and does something else, it makes things unclear. Thus, clarity becomes impossible; thereby, making it very difficult to have a truly strong union. However, if the couple has discussed these matters when they see the other moving or conducting him or herself in a certain way, it makes it clear that the person is striving for those things that were talked about. This is the clarity that is needed to build a strong, trusting, and loving relationship.
If you have any questions, comments, and want help getting the Groove you deserve in your love life, DM me or give me a call.
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