It is easy to get caught up in the hectic routine of everyday living and forget to express our appreciation to our partner in life. Take a moment to think about the person who you share your thoughts, emotions, heart, and sexual juices with. When was the last time you really felt gratitude for him or her? One of the most common mistakes we can make in relationships is, that we assume our partner knows how grateful we are to have them in our lives. The problem with this is, if we don’t tell them or show them we’re grateful, how will they know?
In many instances, we have turned on the autopilot and are merely drifting through our lives without truly appreciating how special our partner is. Our brains and bodies have become so familiar with our routine that we put little thought or attention into our partner in life. Our minds are usually busy making lists, recalling events of the day, or thinking ahead, so we’ve stopped being consciously aware of our partner’s feelings and needs. However, having an increased awareness of gratitude can have a wonderful effect on our relationship.
There is evidence that when we share our gratitude, whether in kindness, words, or gifts, we nurture our relationship and it makes our bond stronger. We get closer to our partner by expressing and displaying our gratitude. Knowing this, it makes perfect sense that we need to explore how we can convey our appreciation on a regular basis. While there is nothing wrong with expressing our gratitude by saying, “thanks a lot,” or “nice work,” these expressions of gratitude are often taken for granted and seldom convey the message as powerfully as we should. One way we can verbally express our appreciation in a manner that will foster connection in our relationship is by including three things in our expression: (1) observation, (2) feeling, and (3) need.
In sharing our observations, we can state what we observed, like holding the door, washing the dishes, or taking out the trash. These everyday actions do make a difference, but they often go unacknowledged. Sometimes just letting our partner know that we’ve noticed can make a world of difference to him or her. Next, we should let our partners know that what they did had a positive impact on us. The final aspect of communicating gratitude is oftentimes the trickiest. It can be difficult to acknowledge that we need our partner for certain things.
But we do. It is important to remember that we don’t exist in a bubble and that we are consistently affected by those around us. Letting our significant others know he or she was there when we needed them is an open doorway to establishing a stronger connection. When it comes to thinking about our relationship and opportunities for gratitude, we shouldn’t limit our expressions of gratitude to the things that our partners do for us. But sometimes it is just as valuable to share our appreciation for who they are as a person. Take the time to comment on our partner’s generosity, thoughtfulness, compassion, or just being who they are, and see how much happier we become in our relationship.
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