“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” ~ Marcel Proust
Unfortunately, many people in the relationship space will have you believe that it’s difficult to establish and maintain a happy relationship. It will take time to achieve, but by following the five tips I’ve listed below, you’ll be well on your way to a happier union.
- Avoid keeping score. Everyone has their ups and downs. Things are never exactly 50–50. The key to sharing with your partner having good intentions. There’s a tradition that states, “Actions are based on intentions…” If you make your intention to please God and make the relationship better, the score won’t matter to you. Plus, keeping score breeds resentment because you’ll feel like you’re doing most of the work in the relationship. At the same time, your partner must have the same intentions and actions, which are to please God and make the relationship better.
2. Try not to “fix” each other. Be aware that you are both responsible for your own happiness. In other words, don’t expect your partner to make you happy. This is something I emphasize all of the time. It’s important that both of you have lives and interests outside of the relationship that brings you pleasure. They can help you feel good about yourself and your life together, but they can’t do it for you.
3. Don’t take each other for granted. In this regard, don’t expect your partner to read your mind. This is another reason why communication is so vital in an intimate relationship. Without it, your partner might begin to feel they are not appreciated. Think about what they need, ask them how they feel, and let them know when something is on your mind. This is the proper way to show your appreciation for him or her and to receive what you need in the union.
“The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.” ~ Neale Donald Walsch
4. Have planned date nights. At least twice a month, get out of the house and go on a date. Take turns making plans and surprise each other. This is where many couples lose the sparks in their relationship. They don’t understand the importance of continually dating each other, no matter how long they’ve been together.
5. Talk about your life together and where you want it to go. Don’t just assume that you have the same goals and dreams for your relationship. Take the time to discuss these matters openly and honestly. I suggest that couples have quarterly check-ins. Meaning, that once every three months, you two sit down and talk about the union. Make sure you deal with how you see the relationship moving forward. Discuss things that should be added and subtracted in order to strengthen your bond with one another. You can talk about the kids, work, and other things after you address your vision for the relationship. These five things are another small bite from a big matter. How you two can be happy together. Five more are on the way.
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