“Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.” ~ Elinor Glyn
When you meet someone and feel an instant connection, it’s easy to think that love is imminent. As time goes on and a relationship develops not everything is sunshine and roses. It’s entirely possible for the relationship to fizzle out or end before it has time to blossom into something more substantial.
If you’ve had a failed relationship in the past, it can be difficult to trust another person again. This is especially true if you don’t understand what went wrong the last time. If you’re worried about a lack of connection killing your relationship, here are four common relationship killers that should be resolved:
Lack Of Communication
Communication is the foundation of any good relationship. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your partner, it’s impossible to feel like they understand you.
If you notice that your partner is controlling your communication, or that they seem to always be shutting down your attempts to talk, it’s a definite red flag.
We all have our bad days, so there may be some instances where your partner isn’t being as communicative as they normally are. If you have to ask them to talk more often than not, that’s a problem.
You should also pay attention to how your partner reacts when you’re upset because that’s a great indication of how they handle sensitive situations in general. If they shut you down or become aggressive, that’s another red flag.
Communication must be clear, consistent, and mutual. Both of you must be able to express yourselves without having your opinions taken for granted or ridiculed. There must also be times when you only talk about the relationship. What’s working, what’s not working, and what you want it to look like in the future.
“Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the flavor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.” ~ Maya Angelou
Being Too Jealous
Unfortunately, a lot of people use jealousy as a way to manipulate their partner into staying. It’s an ugly sign of insecurity, and it’s not healthy. If you’re spending your time feeling jealous and suspicious of your partner, it’s a sign that you don’t trust them.
This is a surefire way to destroy a relationship before it has a chance to get off the ground.
No matter how strong the connection between you and your partner is, you can’t start a relationship with the assumption that your partner is cheating on you.
“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” ~ Albert Einstein
Friction Due To Different Cultures
If you’re dating someone who comes from a vastly different background than you, odds are you’ll have some cultural misunderstandings. While these misunderstandings may be annoying at times, they’re usually minor and can be worked through.
If you find yourself facing more than the occasional cultural misunderstanding it’s a sign that the two of you may not be a good match.
It’s easy to assume that everything will work out in the end once you’re in a relationship, but that’s not always the case.
You should think about the future and how you will handle cultural differences when you’re single and dating. If you’re not ready to tackle cultural differences head-on, you probably shouldn’t start a relationship with someone who comes from a different background.
“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” ~ Henry Ford
You Don’t Share The Same End Goals
Compatibility is essential in a healthy relationship. It’s important that both of you have the same goals for your relationship and life together. If you both have ambitious goals, but you have different methods of achieving those goals, it can be a problem.
You don’t have to be exactly the same as your partner in every single way, but you do need to be compatible regarding the big picture for your relationship.
If you’re dating someone who has a wildly different view on how they want to live their life, it may be a sign that you won’t be able to establish and maintain a peaceful life together. Let’s be clear, it’s about establishing peace with one another.
The Verse of Love States: And of His (God’s) Signs is that He created for you mates from amongst yourselves. In order for you to find peace with one another. And, He places between you affection and mercy. These are signs for those who reflect.
So peace is essential to a healthy loving relationship. If both of you have different visions and goals for your life and relationship, it won’t work out in the long run.
Long-term relationships must be about harmony, peace, love, affection, and mercy. If the four things mentioned above are not resolved, the needed components of the union will not be established or maintained.
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Louis Morris is a Certified Relationship Coach who helps couples deal with marital and relationship discord involving issues of communication, intimacy, and helping them enhance their spiritual and emotional connection. He also assists singles who are divorced, been through a break-up, or lost a partner to get their groove back.
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