One of the early scholars described the heart as being a vessel, and he mentioned that the vessel can only pour out what it contains. I’m mentioning this because as a relationship coach, I hear a lot about the fear of being alone from people who have been through divorce and breakups.
The first thing I want to say before offering the tips I want to offer is, you are whole without someone in your life. However, that is only true with a condition. You must put the right things in the vessel (the heart) to be whole. In that case, whether someone comes into your life or not you are fulfilled.
If you find someone that you want to spend time with, share your life with, build a healthy relationship with, it is an enhancement. You had a full life before this person came along. So it is just as one of my brothers used to say, “It is light upon light.” Meaning, there was already light in your life, but this healthy productive relationship has added more light.
Now let’s talk about the things that will get rid of the fear of being alone. The first thing is to enhance your spiritual connection with the Creator. For anyone who reads my content or listens to The Heart Matters podcast, you know I believe having a relationship with God is essential the human being. There is a verse in The Recital which states, Those who have believed and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of God. Verily, in the remembrance of God do hearts find satisfaction.
So this is important if you want to be complete. Notice I didn’t say perfect. As humans, we are not capable of being perfect. Perfection is only for God. So we’re not talking about perfection, we’re talking about completeness. Being complete means you feel a sense of contentment and your life is in a state of constant cultivation.
You have high goals, personally and professionally, things you’re passionate about, good relationships with friends and family, and activities that stimulate you. The essence of it all is your spiritual connection to the Creator.
The second tip is exercise. There are so many benefits to exercise. It can make you feel happier, can help with weight loss, increase energy levels, and reduce the risk of chronic disease, just to name a few. Some of us can’t do strenuous exercise due to old injuries or medical reasons. However, walking is a great form of exercise. The point being, you should implement some form of regular exercise into your life because of the immense benefit it contains.
The last thing I want to mention here is spending quality time with family and friends. They’ve conducted studies at the Mayo Clinic and determined some of the benefits of having fruitful relationships with friends and family.
Just a few of them include, it increases your sense of belonging and purpose, boost your happiness and reduces your stress, improves your self-confidence and self-worth, helps you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss, or the death of a loved one, and it encourages you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits.
If we observe the correlation between these 3 tips, you will see that all of them together contribute to the overall wellness of the human being. When you’re taking care of yourself this way, you’ll have very little time to be lonely, and as I mentioned above, what the vessel (the heart) contains will pour out of you. In other words, if your life is full, you will be full of life, and that will attract the person you want to share your life with.
In a nutshell, don’t be afraid of being alone. Be afraid of not improving yourself because not cultivating yourself inwardly and outwardly leads to a myriad of problems.
If you would like to get more tips and advice from Louis about intimate heart matters, then, follow him on Instagram: @louis_morris_coaching or schedule a free 45 Minute Consultation Call