Nowadays, I hear a lot of stories about what singles call, “Situationships.” This is where either one or both people start the courting process with two things that people who are looking for long-term love would never involve themselves in. The two things are:
- Ill Intentions
If these two traits exist in one or both people there is no way for a meaningful relationship to be established. The main reason is, that a true connection can never be rooted with people who are looking for other than that. A truly intimate, long-term, and lasting relationship can only be formed when both people are looking for something real, and they’re honest with one another about who they are, what they want, and their goals with each other for the future.
This is one of the reasons I was thinking to myself this morning, “Relationships are not hard.” Maybe I’m biased when it comes to this because I’ve been giving people relationship advice ever since I was 13 years old. It could be due to my own relationship mishaps, and I always resorted to the Usher approach of Let It Burn. Or, it might have something to do with me being raised the only boy with 4 sisters, and one of the main problems they would have with guys they were dating is that the guys weren’t being honest with them. Due to that early training, I learned that being honest with women is very important if you want to have a real bond.
The two traits listed above have become more common in this dating app Instagram era. People use beautiful photos and pleasing words to make people believe they have it all together, and that they are looking to settle down with one person to build a life and family. Again, many of these people have ill intentions, and because of that, they use deception to draw people in. It’s a sad state of affairs. Many men and women become very distrustful because they run into people with this type of mindset and behavior. I am here to assure you as the “Les Brown of Relationships” that there are many men and women who are looking for commitment, love, and true intimacy with another person.
This is one of the reasons I mention to my clients that the H.E.A.R.T. method is about working with yourself first and foremost. This will equip you with the insight and wherewithal to spot very quickly men and women who are not looking for commitment but are seeking to play games. It’s all about your healing, bringing the correct energy, actualizing what you want, and relating that to the world around you, so you can transform yourself and those you draw close to you. It all begins with good intentions and honesty.
These things definitely require more effort than having ill intentions and lying. However, everything that is good requires effort to obtain. An intimate relationship is no different. But, it’s not hard. When you’re passionate about something, it doesn’t feel like work when you perform the activity you’re passionate about. I explained this to some people the other day. A couple who wants to establish a long-term loving relationship must become comfortable sharing uncomfortable truths with one another. Mind you, this comes with knowing your partner is humble enough to accept the truth.
However, this is connected to both people knowing that the other person has good intentions. Secondly, the truth is not always easy to face. Sometimes, it will cause your partner some temporary agitation. I say temporary because once he or she thinks about it, they will see the benefit in what you told them. This is what a strong and healthy union is all about. Give and take, push and pull, support and criticism, and working together to obtain benefit. So, stay away from ill intentions, dishonesty, and its people. Have good intentions, be honest, and practice clear and effective communication. That is if you truly want what’s best for yourself and the other person, what’s difficult about these things?
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