Most of us who have been intimately involved with someone, beyond the Honeymoon Phase, know that relationships are like roller coaster rides. When things are good, they’re very good. But, the opposite is also true. As a relationship coach, I have put together a Top 10 List. One for men and one for women, of 10 things to do and not to do in a relationship.
In an effort to make each post brief, I will list 5 for each sex every week until I complete the 20. Today, I will begin with the top 5 Do’s for men and the top 5 Do’s for women.
Top 5 Do’s For Men
- Just listen to her without offering advice. I’ve understood this ever since I was 12 years old, which is probably why my sisters and other women would talk to me about anything. Sometimes, she just wants to be heard. I understand this on a greater level as a Relationship Coach. I have to listen to my clients and ask more questions to get to the root of issues. So men! If you are not practicing this already, put it into effect. It will build intimacy and trust.
- Trust and respect her. Let her know that you value her opinion and input, and don’t mistrust if she has not given you a reason to be in that space. Being insecure and clingy is a complete turn off. On the flip side, one of the sexiest things to women is a man who is secure and who makes her feel that way.
- Treat her as a partner in the relationship. Consult with her about issues, ask her opinion, and seek her advice on a regular basis.
- Support her when she gets emotional. This does not mean you have to agree with her. Sometimes, she could be on the wrong side of the issue she is upset about. However, this goes back to the first thing. Just listen. At this point, she is looking to vent her frustration. Let her do that. Choose another time to offer your opinion about the matter.
- Continue your courtship even after she’s committed to you. Coming up with new ways to woo her will bring new levels of intimacy to the relationship. Don’t let the relationship get stale. Keep the romance going.
Top 5 Do’s For Women
- When you want more quality time with your man, make the time you do have as positive as possible. This will also fall under the category of “Teaching your man how to treat you.” When you are present and attentive when you two are together, it will be easier for you to make that request, if needed, down the line. He will understand, based on your actions, what it means to spend quality time.
- Trust and respect him. I mentioned this for the men; therefore, it goes both ways. If he hasn’t given you any reason not to trust him, then trust him. Remember, in most cases, not in all, suspicion is a sin. Stay away from mistrust, unless there are concrete reasons to have them.
- Stop nagging. I don’t think there is a need to elaborate on this, but I will try to let you ladies see this from the man’s point of view. If you are constantly nagging him, he will begin to tune you out. He might start to do it when you really need him to listen to you. Have you heard the story about the boy who cried wolf? Enough said.
- Allow your partner time away from you without giving him the third degree. This falls right in line with the second Do. If you trust and respect him, your thoughts about him being away from you will be like, “I miss my man, I can’t wait to see him.” Thoughts along those lines. Not things like, “I wonder what he’s doing, or who he’s with, etc.? Both of you having interest outside of the relationship rids it of codependency. You should be happy about that.
- Appreciate the little things he does for you and tell him so. We all like to be valued and appreciated. So, every now and then, let him know that you appreciate little things that he does, or just certain principles and values he has. This goes a long way with men, and it motivates him to do more. These are the first 5 Do’s for men and women. I hope they are useful. See you next week.
If you would like to get in touch with Louis for The Couple’s Critical Communication Plan, or The Relationship Rescue Plan, go to his Work With Me Page. Or, following him on Instagram @louis_morris_coaching. Download the free PDF E-Book: The Relationship Rescue Plan. Give further support to The Heart Matters Community by checking out the brand on Amazon Merch: The Heart Matters Brand